how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
