You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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