honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
