Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
