So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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