I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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