Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
