Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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