So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize