? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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