I hate your face
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
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