chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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