Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
