he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize