I just pynch a tree in the face
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
