the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
