Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
