At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
