it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
someone owes me an orgasm
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
