doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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