Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Sorry about my life...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
