Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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