I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
