The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the day after is always just damage control
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
