I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
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the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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