ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
