thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
