people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
