I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
