Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
