Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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