Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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