and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
