the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
