Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
