I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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