Apparently you make a good broom.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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