The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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