I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
