Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
