I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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