So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
