My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
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I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
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I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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