I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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