We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
