the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
