I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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