SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
