wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.