I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.