wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
