Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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