I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
vagina is talking i cant
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
