..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
