Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
