Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
