So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
