Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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