Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
