we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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