Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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