he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
