he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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