the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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