Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
