There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
