Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
