my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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